As we (sort of) patiently await the arrival of Baby Smith, I decided to start a blog to keep people posted. I also want to write things here so I can remember what our lives were like "before". We know things are going to change, but I am sure we have no idea exactly how much! I hope I will be good about updating this thing, but bear with me if it gets neglected now and then in the next few weeks and months!
Since I am guessing Sister Sydney will be the one whose world gets rocked the most by the arrival of her new brother or sister, I decided to give her special recognition here. I just hope she reads the blog every once in a while! Sydney has been extra sweet to me lately and I am choosing to believe it is because she knows something is up. She comes to bed with me at 8pm ands he sleeps with her head on my ankles a lot lately. It's pretty cute.
Marlee and Wally are same as ever - Mar Mar just wants to cuddle with her Daddy
and Wally just wants you to turn on the bathtub faucet so he can have a drink of water.
So the only baby update is that there is no update. We are still about 12 days away from the due date and there has been no progress in about two weeks as far as dilation goes. I am going to the doctor every Monday from now on. I asked her this week about induction and when she will usually agree to schedule one. She said it is pretty much up to us at this point - we could go ahead and induce, or we could wait it out. I have always said that I want to wait until the baby is ready to come on it's own, but in another 12 days I might be singing a different tune!
The nursery is ready, the car seat is in the car - we are just waiting on you, Little One! Any time now would be good!
I feel pretty good most of the time, but my ankles are huge, my belly is huge and night times are torture. I really don't want to complain too much, because I am so incredibly thankful to be having this experience at all, but I am human and sometimes I need to whine!
I also wanted to share with you the blog post I wrote when I first found out I was pregnant. I had so many thoughts and emotions going on, but I couldn't tell anyone yet and I just needed to get the words out. Reading this back now makes me want to cry - I was so afraid to admit, even to myself, that this might actually result in a real live baby. And now in the blink of an eye, I am sitting here talking about inducing soon. I know that are still no absolutes and things could still happen, but I am finally allowing myself to just be excited.
From March 23, 2012
Am I seeing things? That was my first thought when I saw two pink lines this morning. I have been wanting to see those lines SO BADLY for SO LONG, I seriously thought I might just be imagining them. But I called Mikey to come upstairs and, after staring at the test like it was going to jump off the counter and bite him, he confirmed that he saw them too. I can't think of many events in my life that have shaken me as badly as seeing those lines - I wasn't even that nervous on our wedding day! My hands were shaking and I still don't know how I managed to get showered and out the door to work without putting blush in my hair or wearing two wrong shoes. Just in case I do decide to publish this, and someone who doesn't know our story decides to read it, here is our background.
Starting dating in the summer of 2005
Engaged in April 2007 and Married in January 2008
Stopped trying not to get pregnant in October 2009 (My 30th birthday!)
- Still not pregnant in October 2010 *side note: In retrospect, it was a bad idea to start trying around a date that is supposed to be happy - my last two birthdays have SUCKED because it just meant another year with no pregnancy or baby
Did 6 Clomid cycles in late 2010 and early 2011 and began seeing my RE in February 2011.
Laparoscopy to diagnose and remove endometriosis in May 2011. Tried on our own for a few months
3 IUIs in late 2011 - all unsuccessful, obviously
Decided to take a break after the last failed IUI in December and try to get my head back on straight
Decided to move forward with IVF about 5 weeks ago
Nope, that wasn't the fastest IVF cycle ever - apparently all it takes after 2.5 years of trying is finally booking a trip to Universal Studios Harry Potter world, and selling off your stocks to pay for IVF! We literally got the check yesterday! And I am still going to Universal, I guess I just can't ride the rides. Isn't that just wonderfully, perfectly typical!?
I am writing this down so that I remember how I feel right now, right this minute. I had a blood test this afternoon and I won't know the results until Monday, but RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I am pregnant. I want to soak this exact moment in and not think too far ahead. I was so afraid I would never even have this, so I am choosing to be grateful and trying very hard to push the fear away.
I will swear this right now though - if (please please please) this is real and I actually get to be a pregnant lady, I will never tell anyone that "it happens when you just relax" or "just stop thinking about it and it will happen". That always sounds so condescending to me and minimizes the real, medical problems that people may be having. Plus, who wants to be told that basically you are causing your problems because you can't "relax"? Not helpful.
